


right down the line

by Marvellous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 14:06:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10413876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvellous/pseuds/Marvellous
Summary: Castiel comes back to the bunker ten days after the accident.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Late night drabble, sorry if there are any strong feelings stemmed from this. Probable inconsistencies and flaws throughout since I didn't have anyone beta for me and my brain is a little muddled with need for sleep.
> 
> All grammar mistakes are my own, no characters belong to me.

The floor creaked underneath Castiel’s feet and the familiar door loomed in front of him, making him hesitate. 

It had been ten days.

Sam hadn't even been back to the bunker.

Castiel could do this. He could. Or, that’s what he told himself.

Finally, determined, he opened the door, met with the dimness from the room. His hand travelled along the wall until he found the switch. The light flickered on and revealed everything just as it had been before they left on the last case. Bed made neatly, things strewn about on the side tables, an empty bag of chips on the chair against the wall, turntable open with a record still in it. 

Castiel felt a tremor run the course of his spine, daring to take a step further, his hand brushing over the dresser as his eyes took in everything in the room.

Everyone knew this day would come eventually, as it did for every being, but Castiel had hoped…wished, that somehow he’d get longer. He imagined Dean by his side until the hunter grew old and had no choice but to pass on. A freak accident…a drunk driver…that was never supposed to happen.

Dean and Sam had been on a hunt, Dean had only run out to get something from the corner store, and fifteen minutes later the sirens were enough to get Sam’s attention. Castiel had run the two blocks to the scene with the younger brother and been greeted with an image that would never quite leave his mind.

The car that Dean had loved so much was smashed in the driver’s side far beyond repair, glass broken in. The other vehicle was rolled over in the ditch. A body laid out in front of Baby’s headlights had Castiel feeling faint. 

He heard Sam yelling his brother’s name as he ignored the police and ran to his side, the desperation clear.

Castiel had just stood, his blue eyes losing any sense of purpose as he had realized what was happening. It took everything he had to walk over to the Winchester’s, Sam pleading with Castiel to do something. He had knelt beside the man he loved, trying to ignore the amounts of blood he saw, hand finding the side of his face as he tried. He looked at Sam with fear in his eyes, unable to do anything.

Now here, in Dean’s room, he could almost imagine he was still alive and would come walking through that door any moment. He’d be going on about what he was going to make for dinner that night, probably some recipe Castiel had never heard of that he was dying to try out. It wouldn't have mattered, because Dean was actually a fantastic cook and whatever he made was always good. 

Castiel drew his hand over his face and let a shaky breath leave his lungs, stopping in front of the turntable. His hands instinctively moved to start it, shrugging off his trench coat in the process. As soon as the music reached his ears he took a step back and had to sit on the bed, the last night Dean and him had spent together here racing through his mind. 

Dean had sung the lyrics as the song started, laying beside Castiel who had his head buried in a book. His fingers played with the dark hair of the other male and the grin was prominent as he told Castiel that this could have been their song.

The image flashed through Castiel’s mind and made him close his eyes tightly. He would never get to see that smile again. Not the flash of white teeth, nor the glint in his too green eyes that were so easy to get lost in. No more laughter lines that appeared whenever Dean was really and truly happy. No more tracing the freckles that dotted his skin. No more waking up in the middle of the night just to hold one another after hard days. No more dancing barefoot in the bedroom to one of Dean’s vinyls. 

Never again would he hear the way Dean’s voice was uncharacteristically soft in the morning, and he’d never wake to the sound of the snoring he had grown so comfortable with. Castiel wouldn't ever get to say ‘I love you’ again. He’d never get to lay his head on the hunter’s chest and listen to his heart beat. 

They’d never get to do the things they'd talked about, either. Running away and getting married, a small little ceremony, Sam would have been invited of course. That would never happen. They had even talked about bringing a dog to the bunker, figured they could use something that was mutually their responsibility.

A breath caught in Castiel’s throat.

Nothing. This was the end. Dean was dead. Gone. 

A wave of emotion took hold of Castiel as he laid down on Dean’s side of the bed, hand pulling the pillow to his chest as he breathed in the last lingering scent of the man. 

“Dean,” he choked, needing the comfort from the other that was never to be felt again. 

'Long as I got your love, you know that I'll never leave'

‘Cause you believed in me, through my darkest night. Put something better inside of me, you brought me into the light’

The song echoed in the emptiness of the all too large room.

He ached just to hear Dean’s voice one more time, for the chance to say he loved him, tell him that he wished he could have done more. The emptiness of those lyrics filled Castiel with an ache that would never go away, and with the weight of impossibility crushing him, for the first time since that terrible night, he cried.

**Author's Note:**

> Song playing is meant to be "Right Down the Line" by Gerry Rafferty. Highly recommend listening to it because it's one of my favourite songs. Don't ask me why I used it in an angsty fic like this.
> 
> Kudos and comments/criticism are always greatly appreciated :)


End file.
